I, the Nostalgic Music Lover

Ryan Paris is keeping me company as I wait for sleep to come to me. My birthday has ended - it was a good one. But as most birthdays end, I flip my mental calendar several years back and ponder whether, like today, the past days have also been good.

And so, Ryan Paris brings me back to the night of my Graduation Ball. Our high school batch was so notorious that our teachers found a way to scrap our Grade 8 field trip. They practically forced us to trade it for our Grade 9 prom. What's high school without a prom?!? Field trips - we'd gone on so many since our grade school days. And so the batch decided. Come Grade 9, still the notorious batch that we are, our teachers then found a way to scrap the prom. The trade-off - our Graduation Ball. And so the most notorious batch became the most deprived...

I can't remember if Ryan Paris' "Dolce Vita," my all-time favorite dance song, was playing that night. I'm trying to convince my mind it was. The night would have ended perfectly with this song.

"It's our last night
Together with our love again
Another light
Before we'll drown in darkness
Say you'll never leave me now
Say you're gonna love me now..."

I went home after the affair longingly staring at the crimson sky and thinking, "Yes, the Fixx was right. Red skies at night, red skies at night."

Fast forward to my Kamia days. I "drown in darkness" as I sit alone in the room I share with three others. Boy George and the rest of Culture Club makes my heart heavy with "Victims." I sit by the window, kept company by Marl Lights.

"You're always there
like a ghost in my dreams..."

I hope my roommates would come in after I had gone to sleep. I wanted - needed - the time alone. To think, to write. To write.

"You can change the chapter
You can change the book
But the story remains the same
If you take a look..."

So croons Alison Moyet in "Nobody's Diary" as I snap back to the present. My head's starting to ache. I check the clock - my laptop, two wristwatches, my alarm clock and two cellphones all say different times. I never know what the right time is. I guess it's time for sleep.

I turn around, trying to figure out how to move Gabby to where she should be sleeping without waking her up. Her head and arms are on Alex's bed, her feet are on my side of the bed. Maybe I should leave her like that and just try to squeeze myself into the tinny-tiny space left.

Happy Valentine's day, I whisper into their ears as I kiss them goodnight. Yes, life's been good, I say with a smile.

"Sunshine through my window
That's what you are, my shining star
Making me feel I'm on top of the world
Telling me I'll go far."